Attitude, Lifestyle, Navy Life, Running

Wonderland

October has proven to be an insanely busy month for me.  After turning 39 in September, I decided to take a hard look at myself, what I’m good at, what I’m not good at, where my heart was taking me and where I needed to push myself to go. After 2 years of mediocre success in direct sales (not knocking the career path, it’s just not something I could put MY heart into), I decided to go into health coaching. Our family’s current circumstances really make teaching classes outside my home difficult and the output vs input really couldn’t justify the time I would spend ‘working’ instead of being with my family.

That said, I’ve been volunteering the skills I developed in my career to organizations and close friends because, to be honest, I fell out of love for what I did for a while.  Volunteering helped rekindle our relationship so to speak. I fell out of love, not because I didn’t love technology, knowledge management, web and social media, but because I reached a point in my career where I was helping people less and managing bureaucratic details more. I wasn’t doing what I was good and lost my passion for the days in my opinion, and putting what I did for a living before the needs of my children and my husband couldn’t be justified anymore.

After a bit of soul searching and the opportunity to work with some amazing people I’d met while working on TEDx behind the scenes on the first SUMMIT Fest here in Honolulu.  Working on this project led to seeking a business coach and in this series of fortunate events I rediscovered my passion and purpose.  So I reengineered a business I started back in 1998 and before I could finish my own website (still not finished) I was off and running – money in the bank, great clients, amazing work. Kreative Karma was born this month and it will be the vehicle that will allow me to help others, challenge my mind, keep me home with my children and give back what I earn to non-profits my clients and my family care about. It’s the first time in many, many years that I feel like I’m doing the absolute right thing with every fiber of my being and it feels phenomenal. My spirit is risen.

In the process of getting here, however, I’ve gotten a few weeks behind on half marathon training and at first I thought it was just because we got busy. But the more I look at the situation, the more I’m realizing there’s a wall I’m up against, entirely of my own design, but it’s a big one that I wanted to acknowledge. I started running to be healthier, and I love running because it’s my escape and my clarity. Lately, however, it feels like more of the people around me are focused on running for time which is AWESOME but at this moment, not for me. There have definitely been moments along the journey where improving my time in running was EVERYTHING and I know I will be there at some point again. But today, it goes against my vibe. Today, I use running to find peace and to let go of the pressures I put on myself to be everything to everyone and just relax. Sadly, my fear driven response to this increase in time chaser energy surrounding me has been to step away from a group a loved to run with and just stop running. Everything about my face, my body, my heart tells me I need to get out an RUN. So tonight, I will go for a run to get refocused and to remember the run is about me. Time to get back to my Wonderland.

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